At the beginning of our last rehearsal before we left for ACTF {an acting competition}, my scene partner, Ben, stopped me and said, "Before we do anything, Noelle, I need to ask you a question. Do you trust me?"
I was shocked. Flabbergasted. I looked into his eyes, clouded with trouble, and didn't know how to even begin processing what he asked because nothing could have been further from the truth.
A few weeks later, I asked him why he posed that question, because I NEVER want another scene partner of mine to think that I don't trust them.
"Well, when I would say that I thought our scene was good you never agreed with me. And when I told you you were doing a great job, you would always be like, 'yeah thanks... but no, not really.'"
WOW. I had chosen Ben to be my partner because he is the only male actor at my university that I can trust wholeheartedly. And yet, even though I wanted to trust Ben, I couldn't. Because I didn't trust myself.
I couldn't trust him, because I couldn't trust myself.
And it has made me think...
How many blessings do I deny myself because I don't trust myself or don't believe that I deserve the blessings I could have?
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